kyuukichan669

hello all~! I'm in the best mod in the world right now~ my dad just won 10,000 dollah so I'm friggin' rich as hell. it's made me so happy cuase now i can buy whatever the F i want and i don't have to worry about trying really hard to get him to buy me shit.the end.

today as i was reading a rape fic (the after the rape kind) a line one of the characters said to another created a....thing in my head.The person who was raped was telling his partner that he couldn't fix everything and it just reminded me of all the things in life i can't ever fix,Like my brothers. Usually by now i'd be half way through ranting but since i'm sore and feeling something akin to deep a deep emotion i think this will be all for now.

yesterday i realized that for most of my life my mother has been trying to distance me from being touched by other people(nonsexual way). i was attacking my neighbor(whom is a close friend) playfully and later on she was telling my aunt how weird it was. this brought to the surface an old memory of her accusing me of gettin freaky with a childhood friend of mine and i was seven at the time. now as i sit here writing this...thingy i remember all the times i wasn't allowed to play around with my cousins because she was afraid they might do something to me. now i'm fairly pissed and wondering if this in anyway factors into my depravity today.